Wednesday, December 24, 2008
the christmas letter
Sim"pli*fy\, v. t. to make simple; to make less complex; to make clear by giving the explanation for; to show an easier or shorter process for doing or making.
interestingly enough (considering we added a human being to our family this year), our 2008 can best be summed up by this word: simplify. i have attempted multiple times to type this letter, but every time it has grown into a monster as i’ve tried to explain the simplicity that now governs the milthaler family. so, basically, i will not go into a diatribe on that topic. suffice it to say that, following our first visit to the mcmiller cabin in hocking hills in august ’08, our lives changed forever. i will attempt in one paragraph to put it simply…
silence. i honestly had no clue as to the lack of that thing in our lives until the time we spent there. family. we laughed, lived, loved; we cooked, ate, played, existed quietly together without distraction. nature. we hiked, camped, the boys slept in a tent!, and gazed in awe at God’s wondrous world in a way none of us had (at least for a very long time). the cabin made the world more silent and the living grow louder. we don’t know exactly the when, where, or how, but there is a cabin in our future.
speaking of the how: dave ramsey! I don’t know how many of you have experienced his teaching but we are in it up to our knees (or ankles, not exactly sure yet) and already experiencing the change. it will not be long before we are debt free and on our way to living like no one else! that is a big part of the simplification in our lives: that first, as dave says, we must “live like no one else.” it is exciting to pair up his expertise with God’s desire for us to be financially accountable so that we can live freely and bless others. I can’t wait to see it all come to fruition. (which is partially why i’m saying it out loud… accountability!)
now on to the personal updates. first and of course foremost: introducing harrison wayne milthaler. born june 6, he is our second boy and now I know for sure what it means to love and love and love and not have any idea how there could possibly be that much of an emotion. harrison is a jolly little baby, and very very physically active. he is much the same as his big brother in size and look. although, much to mommy’s dismay, he does not have the striking blonde hair of her firstborn. (not exactly sure where the plan went sour…but then again she was certain her children would all be blonde and blue-eyed…that dream died with the turn to hazel!) harrison loves his brother the most. he lights up when he’s around and laughs most heartily when reagan is laughing or playing with him. he doesn’t have the same issues with reflux that reagan had, making it a little easier this time around. however even in the first few weeks we learned that this would indeed be the most difficult job we had ever taken on (being parents of two!). we have adjusted, and divide and conquer has never meant so much. anyway, about harrison: his most recent feats are eating baby food, rolling all over the floor, slobbering incessantly, and singing, cooing, and giggling until every heart near him breaks. I treasure and cherish every single time I hold him in my arms, because I know (or, at least am pretty sure) that he is the last baby of my own I will ever hold. he is the sunshine of our lives and let me just say that 6 months is the greatest age!
speaking of big brother: reagan (age 3) took every fear I had of bringing a crying, selfish little human being into his life and threw it immediately out the window. from day one he has loved harrison deeply. I honestly would not have believed it had God himself told me, but I do believe that reagan loved harrison with an immediate and fierce love that only a brother must feel that superseded (and continues to) any selfish emotion he could ever have toward his new sibling. I never really had the opportunity to know that emotion, and matthew was 8 years older than his sister, so it’s not exactly the same. but I knew reagan was smitten for sure the day we told him that we’d sent harrison back to the hospital and reagan burst into tears crying, “no! you can’t! he’s our baby!!” anyway he handled the addition of this little screaming thing with grace and a heart bigger than I’ve ever known. (furthermore he immediately corrects anyone who attempts to correct harrison! he is already his staunchest ally and greatest defender) I am so proud of my little man. and I mean it when I say he will always be my first little boy.
reagan self-entertains more these days (some of it necessary, unfortunately) and when doing so he loves playing with his thomas the train set and watching (lately) the wall-e movie (at least 2 times per day). he also goes to sunday school every week (and now loves it) and enjoys being babysat every now and then when mommy and daddy get a night out. he does want to (constantly) PLaY and asks us to do that every waking moment. he has an unstoppable imagination and there is never a dull moment when he is around. he is so incredibly smart. this year he flew for the first time on an airplane (actually 4 by the time it was all over) when we went to florida for cousin suzie’s wedding. daddy bought an ipod touch so that “reagan could watch movies” (haha). well to our amazement that 3-year-old boy has mastered the device and now plays games, watches videos, and can even zoom in and out of pictures without help. we think he’s going to be the brains of the operation: and harrison is just going to hit people.
matthew is in his third year at the vineyard community church in cincinnati. he loves it there. this year they saw the completion of their building project the student union. finally teens who come there have a true place of worship that they can call their own. the coolest thing to happen this year was that matthew and his co-workers got haircuts! if you will recall, my last Christmas letter mentioned the fact that there would be no cutting of hair until the vcc youth program reached 600 students per weekend for two weekends in a row. it took them 14 months of dedicated effort and now, 600 is their average. the growth will only continue. I am so proud of my husband and his undying heart for God’s future generation. he stared in a movie project (www.theraodtoemmauspa.com) and actually received IMDB credit. he is now four degrees from kevin bacon.
he is talented beyond measure and I am not afraid to tell my students at kings that every single unique (a/k/a good) game, warm-up song, or fundraising idea I have pretty much comes from him. he is also the all-american daddy and, although reagan makes it a nightly joke to leave daddy out of his “thank you God for ____” prayer, the boys behave differently when he is around. they need him on a level that I could never satisfy. from wrestling to tackling to tickling to heart-to-heart manly talks, he is the true leader in our family. I absolutely adore being the female on the sidelines watching it all take place. I thank God constantly for blessing me with the boys I dreamed of (all three of them).
the other really cool thing about matthew is that this year he has rediscovered his manhood. it all started with hurricane ike (yeah people, we had hurricane winds 80mph in ohio. I lost my favorite tree. it was truly phenomenal to hear and watch.). he organized a block party where we all brought our perishables and fired up the grill. he made coffee each morning using our chimenea and took it around to neighbors who had no way to make it. he fed us using camping gear and it was truly delicious. it was also tremendously fun to exist together in a survival situation and find that not only could we do it, but we could actually grow closer together through it. he demonstrated God’s second greatest commandment (love your neighbor as yourself) in a way I’ve never seen before and in a way i’m certain our oldest son observed. our neighborhood became more like a family in those four days without power, and it was greatly because of him. I am a blessed girl to be his wife.
I am in my fifth year at kings high school by kings island as the high school choral director. this year I also lead the seventh grade girls’ choir (something I never thought I’d say I loved…but I do!). I have found a new joy in this life: the joy that comes from knowing your job inside and out and therefore being able to let go of the details (because they come naturally) and just enjoying the people you interact with on a daily basis. I have made it my goal to, although I teach in a public school, show (and even on occasion, tell) the love of Christ to my students. I have seen that it is happening, in that they come to me and enjoy my company. I have fallen in love with them in the last couple of years and know that this job is instead a calling God has on my life. I always thought that it was about me loving music and therefore needing to overcome the burnout and stress in order to use the talents God gave me. now I know that it is much greater than that, and that I was selfish to ever think otherwise. I adore teaching them to be amazing music makers and also to live and love life to the fullest by being more than just typical teenagers. this week I watched them come alive while caroling to neighborhood families, sick people, and old folks’ homes. the students beamed when the old man with the banjo asked “what church are y’all from?” and they got to respond: “we’re from kings high school.” this spring I get to take them to Gatlinburg for their first choir trip ever. funny how I’m certain singing with banjo-picking old men for old ladies who can’t sing “silent night” because of their tears will far outweigh any experience we might have at the smoky mountain music festival. and boy is it fine by me.
mom still comes to our house and babysits the boys every single day that we are both at work. so 4 days a week she gives of her time and energy to give the boys a one-on-one special care they could get no where else. to say that sets a mommy’s mind at ease doesn’t come close to the way I feel leaving my house each morning. it, in a nutshell, means that I can keep working. period. thank you mom. (the kicker is: she thanks US.) dad is still working! and both are blessed with amazing health. they continually put others before themselves and seem to exist for that very purpose. I will always be a better person because of that kind of love for others. we have FOUr little ones in the family this year: reagan and three others! harrison, liz’s new baby Dylan (who was born only 3 weeks before harrison…what a joy it was being pregnant and mommies together!), and miles’ little girl Madison. Christmas is going to be the most fun ever this year!
of course the milthaler family is still mourning the absence of grandma argabrite. grandma monroe is still hanging in there although she is spending her days at an area nursing home. it has been a very hard year for mom & dad m but they are trusting in God’s provision and supervision in every decision and aspect of life. we are thankful for their daily demonstration of faith to us and to our children. karly is 6 now and is turning in to a darling young lady. most importantly: KrIStY IS ENGaGED! phil proposed at a “surprise party” for his birthday. what kris didn’t know was we all knew about it and that the surprise was on her! that was in november and the wedding date is set for august 1, 2009. I was thrilled, surprised, and completely honored to be chosen as maid of honor. I will perform the role to the fullest, it is a promise! we are so happy for kristy and phil and karly and the entire family is overjoyed to watch them all become one in the eyes of God and family. yippee!
i believe we can say that our family is thriving. for some, life is financially difficult in these hard economic times. for some, relatives are failing and growing older. for some, physical pain is present making daily life a trial. but you know we still all have each other. the older I get the more I know that this one thing is the most important thing there is. over money, over success, even over health (although we are incredibly blessed in that category as well). like part of the definition of “simplify”: to make clear by giving the explanation for. the explanation of life is loving each other. as long as we have each other and can hug and kiss good bye or good night, all is well with the world. we all are praying for each of you and your families this christmas. we hope that 2009 brings love and laughter and strength and peace to you. you all know how I love to speak of our friendprints: we got to add texas to our path this year (howdy, steurnagels!). may God’s love and blessings flow forth and embrace you all across the miles. we love you! merry christmas and happy new year!!
love matthew, hope, reagan, and harrison
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
the {re}gifter...
i had the opportunity to see the much anticipated {re}gifter and it didn't disappoint.
congrats brad, i know that you put a ton of work into this project! you astound me with your energy and creativity. truly, i'm proud to be your friend. you were able to make an emotional connection to a timeless truth!
i've commissioned alton to give you several hugs next time you cross paths.
milthaler
congrats brad, i know that you put a ton of work into this project! you astound me with your energy and creativity. truly, i'm proud to be your friend. you were able to make an emotional connection to a timeless truth!
i've commissioned alton to give you several hugs next time you cross paths.
milthaler
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
why we have waivers...
this is a quick video from this year's fall weekend. we found this "earth ball" in a storage closet and put it to good use.
as with many youth ministry events... we had to make up rules as we went.
milthaler
as with many youth ministry events... we had to make up rules as we went.
milthaler
Saturday, December 13, 2008
mike...
as with other projects i've done... i got to meet an great human being while doing this project. mike is simply a great guy and he has such a cool outlook on life.
milthaler
Sunday, December 7, 2008
bcs...
i don't know who wrote this... so i can't give credit, but it's hilarious.
After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.
"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."
German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.
"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."
German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
ben's mom...
so, my friend ben came over to watch "the road to emmaus, pa" last night... that is until his mom called. this is a segment of what turned into a 47:21 conversation... well, it was sort of a conversation. right when i stopped taping she said, "well, i'm getting tired of talking". HA!
i haven't laughed this hard for 47 straight minutes... ever.
it's muted most of the time so she can't hear us... but, that doesn't seem to matter.
i haven't laughed this hard for 47 straight minutes... ever.
it's muted most of the time so she can't hear us... but, that doesn't seem to matter.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
so, i took a break...
i have not touched this blog in almost two weeks... and somehow life went on. just to get caught up, here are the plethora of things that have happened in my recent past.
smoke damage in our house, the ash box of the fireplace after a faulty cleaning left us with a house that smelled like an ashtray. we now have new carpet, repainted ceilings, new everything that was fabric... and this was all after two rounds of cleaning/treatment. it's been a royal pain, but seems to have worked out for the best.
we went to hocking hills for another weekend. this time the cold kept us inside most of the time we were there... but, it was glorious family fun.
harrison is now giggling... almost all the time. he is such a happy baby. tons of fun and he greeted me this morning with dadadadadadadada... i don't think he was intentionally saying daddy, but it started my day off with a huge laugh.
i asked reagan what he wanted to get mommy for christmas and with thoughtful consideration he told me, "wipes, so she can use them when she goes poop". he was completely serious. i will admit however, baby wipes are great for number two... especially warm. i hear all the rap stars use them.
thanksgiving was at our house. i'm shocked at how people want to tell you how depressing their year was... when we are supposed to go around the table (per tradition) and tell what we are thankful for. save the sour and just hit the sweet.
i went outside to 20 degree temps and wondered why people choose to live here... and then realized that i had made the choice to live here. wouldn't it be great if spring broke right after christmas? this is why i keep polluting and refuse to recycle.
consider yourself caught up.
milthaler
smoke damage in our house, the ash box of the fireplace after a faulty cleaning left us with a house that smelled like an ashtray. we now have new carpet, repainted ceilings, new everything that was fabric... and this was all after two rounds of cleaning/treatment. it's been a royal pain, but seems to have worked out for the best.
we went to hocking hills for another weekend. this time the cold kept us inside most of the time we were there... but, it was glorious family fun.
harrison is now giggling... almost all the time. he is such a happy baby. tons of fun and he greeted me this morning with dadadadadadadada... i don't think he was intentionally saying daddy, but it started my day off with a huge laugh.
i asked reagan what he wanted to get mommy for christmas and with thoughtful consideration he told me, "wipes, so she can use them when she goes poop". he was completely serious. i will admit however, baby wipes are great for number two... especially warm. i hear all the rap stars use them.
thanksgiving was at our house. i'm shocked at how people want to tell you how depressing their year was... when we are supposed to go around the table (per tradition) and tell what we are thankful for. save the sour and just hit the sweet.
i went outside to 20 degree temps and wondered why people choose to live here... and then realized that i had made the choice to live here. wouldn't it be great if spring broke right after christmas? this is why i keep polluting and refuse to recycle.
consider yourself caught up.
milthaler
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
lost wallet...
i took a week long vacation last week... at least that is what i called it. i traveled with two kids, my lovely wife and eight other members of my immediate and extended family to boca raton, fl for the wedding of my cousin.
imagine a hybrid of lampoons vacation and a jeff foxworthy routine and you get a clearer picture of the trip in it's entirety. making an involved story short... i left my wallet on the plane as we had a layover in atlanta. i didn't realize this until i went to rent a car at our final destination. suck!
after being on hold with the airline and redirected to several different departments... (sidebar, your honor... wouldn't you think that people leave stuff on a plane all the time and the process to retrieve such articles would be a little more standardized and centralized... nope!?!) i had no luck in retrieving a small piece of leather that contains almost everything you need to survive while traveling.
the next morning i received this email...
Good news!
I found your wallet.
Better news, all your credit cards and social security stuff is safe.
Jesus was watching over you, again.
The best news, I'm a fellow believer!
I don't know if you're home or if I should over night it to your vacation destination.
I know you'll need your wallet at the airport.
My name is Paula Glenos.
Praise God!
paula is the new name i will use to refer to the angels that protect me. not only did she email me, she googled me and called almost every person i know looking for me.
milthaler
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
technological edge...
i still don't know who i am going to vote for... and that is not an invitation for you to try and convince me that your candidate is superior.
one thing that you can't dispute is that barack obama has the technological edge over mccain. there are a bunch of little things that contribute to this edge but here are two that really impressed me. first, obama has an application that is free to download on the iphone and touch. it keeps you in touch with everything they want you to know... that's pretty impressive considering the major companies that don't have a presence on the iphone as of now.
the second is this web site that they have started running ads for. here's the link in case you want to check it out. simply input your financial data and it tells you how much you'll save in taxes as opposed to mccain. it's web genius... and is a textbook example of relevant web advertising.
now there is no way that the candidate comes up with all these ideas on his own... but what if the roles were reversed. what if the old guy was using technology in a relevant way and the young guy was "out of touch"? that would be interesting, but we're left with the stereotype in tact.
then again, there is a rumor that "duba" was addicted to email before coming president. (email can be subpoenaed.) use of technology doesn't make for a great president.
What if...
What if blog posts are the cousin of the annoying forward? It's basically all the stuff you would secretly love to spam your friends with without the stigma!
First post from my iPod touch...
I got my new iPod tonight. This cool app allows me to misspell words at an astonishing rate and publish right from my iPod. Here's to progress and more frequent posts.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
one issue candidate...
as i listen to both candidates talk about the gaggle of things they are going to do during their first term and my mind is spinning. to think that they can do half of what they say is a crazy idea. blah, blah, blah.
what if a candidate picked one issue and only talked about that issue? i don't care which one... simply pick one.
"i'm sorry tom, i know you asked me about social security reform... but, as you know i'm only going to talk about finding alternative energy..."
let's face it, you can't do everything. what if everyday the president woke up and worked on one issue? i'm not saying he or she should ignore defense issues, supreme court appointees or the economy entirely, but used all of their energy to work on one issue until it was actually solved. i'm looking for the mindset that says, "why not work on one thing until you actually fix it".
i know this won't happen... but regardless of the issue, would you vote for this type of candidate?
milthaler
what if a candidate picked one issue and only talked about that issue? i don't care which one... simply pick one.
"i'm sorry tom, i know you asked me about social security reform... but, as you know i'm only going to talk about finding alternative energy..."
let's face it, you can't do everything. what if everyday the president woke up and worked on one issue? i'm not saying he or she should ignore defense issues, supreme court appointees or the economy entirely, but used all of their energy to work on one issue until it was actually solved. i'm looking for the mindset that says, "why not work on one thing until you actually fix it".
i know this won't happen... but regardless of the issue, would you vote for this type of candidate?
milthaler
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
trailer...
here is the "official" trailer for the road to emmaus, pa. in case you haven't checked it out the web page is www.theroadtoemmauspa.com.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
the road to emmaus, pa...
we learned this week that our little film, "the road to emmaus, pa" has been accepted into the derby city film festival in louisville, ky. the showing will be on sunday, october 12 at 3:45 pm.
the web site is almost done and is at www.theroadtoemmauspa.com. there will also be showings at the vineyard on november 2 & 9 with times to be released later.
after watching the "almost final" edit last night, i'm excited for everyone to see it. there are quite a few things that were added from what you might have seen during celebrations and it flows nicely.
huge props go out to mark denney and norm freitag who edited this behemoth down to under 90 minutes. these guys really believe in this project and have worked tirelessly to make sure this dream became a reality.
milthaler
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
one year closer to death...
today is my 31st birthday. last year, i realized that i never saw myself living past thirty. i, literally, had already accomplished all the life goals that i had set. i had been in the room for the birth of my child, i went skydiving and was a published author. bing, bang, boom.
this year, i've discovered a few new goals for the next chapter (or several chapters) of my life. strangely, none of them revolve around me or self promotion. they mostly involve my family, the students i serve and life of simplicity. this is very personal for me, but i thought this would be a good place for me to flesh them out on paper (so to speak).
1. i want my wife to truly know at the core of her being that her husband loves her.
-when you have kids, your marriage changes. if you're not careful, it can be for the worse. if you are intentional, it can be for the better. i want to serve my wife and lead our family with godly integrity. this goes to my goal of simplicity, but for the last month we have watched very little television. amazing things happen when you unplug and connect.
2. i want my boys to become men who love god, and love others.
-reagan and i went to the springboro v. piqua football game this friday night. he loved the atmosphere. he wasn't very interested in the football game... to my great displeasure. i asked him if he wanted to play football... nope. "do you want to be in the band," nope. so, what do you want to do i asked, "i want to be up there, so i can talk in the microphone." i've come to the point where i don't care if he plays football, or any other sport for that matter. i don't want him to be good at sports.... i want him to be good at life.
while we were at the game he met several people that i haven't seen in years. if you've been around reagan, he's not exactly shy. he is very verbal. when a man offered him a piece of candy, he accepted with a very sincere, "thank you". his mother has done good.
my life goal is to make sure i build into my boys godly character and an guide them towards an outward focused life. the big ZING, here is that i have to model these things. words are meaningless, i need to display the type of behavior i want to see in them.
3. i want to commission a generation for life long ministry.
-i've known that this is what god has called me to do for several years. however, i haven't quite put the intentionality into doing it. there is a cost to this goal and i'm ready to embrace it. i want there to be a generation of students who come out of the vineyard ready to use their entire life as ministry, no matter what vocation they go into.
4. simplicity.
-it is easy to let your lifestyle grow as your income grows. when hope and i were first married we had nothing. now, we both make a decent wage and it's easy to play the consumerism game. i don't need more stuff, i've already have all that i need. i recently made the decision not to buy and iphone. i would love to have one, i just don't need it. it costs more than my current plan... and i am most tempted to by it just to keep up with those around me.
i'm no longer into playing that game. i have some specific financial goals for the rest of my life and while some of them benefit my family... they mostly benefit the people that i will be able to bless because i have financial freedom.
that's about it for now. but, i feel as if i now have direction... something i was lacking when i turned thirty.
milthaler
this year, i've discovered a few new goals for the next chapter (or several chapters) of my life. strangely, none of them revolve around me or self promotion. they mostly involve my family, the students i serve and life of simplicity. this is very personal for me, but i thought this would be a good place for me to flesh them out on paper (so to speak).
1. i want my wife to truly know at the core of her being that her husband loves her.
-when you have kids, your marriage changes. if you're not careful, it can be for the worse. if you are intentional, it can be for the better. i want to serve my wife and lead our family with godly integrity. this goes to my goal of simplicity, but for the last month we have watched very little television. amazing things happen when you unplug and connect.
2. i want my boys to become men who love god, and love others.
-reagan and i went to the springboro v. piqua football game this friday night. he loved the atmosphere. he wasn't very interested in the football game... to my great displeasure. i asked him if he wanted to play football... nope. "do you want to be in the band," nope. so, what do you want to do i asked, "i want to be up there, so i can talk in the microphone." i've come to the point where i don't care if he plays football, or any other sport for that matter. i don't want him to be good at sports.... i want him to be good at life.
while we were at the game he met several people that i haven't seen in years. if you've been around reagan, he's not exactly shy. he is very verbal. when a man offered him a piece of candy, he accepted with a very sincere, "thank you". his mother has done good.
my life goal is to make sure i build into my boys godly character and an guide them towards an outward focused life. the big ZING, here is that i have to model these things. words are meaningless, i need to display the type of behavior i want to see in them.
3. i want to commission a generation for life long ministry.
-i've known that this is what god has called me to do for several years. however, i haven't quite put the intentionality into doing it. there is a cost to this goal and i'm ready to embrace it. i want there to be a generation of students who come out of the vineyard ready to use their entire life as ministry, no matter what vocation they go into.
4. simplicity.
-it is easy to let your lifestyle grow as your income grows. when hope and i were first married we had nothing. now, we both make a decent wage and it's easy to play the consumerism game. i don't need more stuff, i've already have all that i need. i recently made the decision not to buy and iphone. i would love to have one, i just don't need it. it costs more than my current plan... and i am most tempted to by it just to keep up with those around me.
i'm no longer into playing that game. i have some specific financial goals for the rest of my life and while some of them benefit my family... they mostly benefit the people that i will be able to bless because i have financial freedom.
that's about it for now. but, i feel as if i now have direction... something i was lacking when i turned thirty.
milthaler
Friday, September 5, 2008
playing pastor...
for the last two days i have been wearing my pastoral hat at work. i've been "being" with kids who are facing real life challenges. one of those students is melissa, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis today.
it was a crushing blow for her and the family who had been praying intently for healing and more positive diagnosis. this girl is a jewel and is always serving at the student union. in fact, she was writing letters to the much older folks in the rooms next to hers just to encourage them when i was there yesterday. she is intent on getting fitted for her new walker in time to be back to the student union so she can help leader her small group with her adult partner. i wanted to say, "listen, you've got a pretty good excuse to skip this weekend... why don't you take it?" but, i don't think anything i (or any doctor) would say could keep her away.
it's hard to see kids in pain and dealing with adult sized issues. but, it's also exciting to see them depend on god's strength though it all. the simple truth that jesus taught about becoming like a child is true... and has been at the forefront of my mind today.
milthaler
it was a crushing blow for her and the family who had been praying intently for healing and more positive diagnosis. this girl is a jewel and is always serving at the student union. in fact, she was writing letters to the much older folks in the rooms next to hers just to encourage them when i was there yesterday. she is intent on getting fitted for her new walker in time to be back to the student union so she can help leader her small group with her adult partner. i wanted to say, "listen, you've got a pretty good excuse to skip this weekend... why don't you take it?" but, i don't think anything i (or any doctor) would say could keep her away.
it's hard to see kids in pain and dealing with adult sized issues. but, it's also exciting to see them depend on god's strength though it all. the simple truth that jesus taught about becoming like a child is true... and has been at the forefront of my mind today.
milthaler
Monday, September 1, 2008
gettin' press...
i got a strange phone call today. seems as if a dayton daily news reporter stumbled cross my blog entry "on patriotism" and wanted to interview me for a story to run on september 11. i'll keep you updated when the story runs.
milthaler
milthaler
Friday, August 29, 2008
veep...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
new bike...
reagan has put his poopie in the proper place for three weeks now, and has earned his first bicycle. i still can't believe that baby we brought home from the hospital is riding a big-boy-bike, but it's true.
it's quite a jump from his little trike, and he's not as confident on it as he will be. i feel from time to time that the simple lessons that god teaches me from being a father are a little predictable and trite but, i will go ahead and share this one.
tonight we took a ride around the block, he was riding his bike and i was walking beside. we live in a subdivision that is a challenging for a three year old on a bike. it's hilly with little flat space. so, half the time he's working way too hard and the other half of the time he is freaking out because he is losing control on the way down the other side.
i can see him trying to be brave and strong as he works this new apparatus. half way through he was done and was emotionally and physically spent. he knew the majority of the ride home was down hill, and that freaked him out. i explained to him that i would be right by his side and that there was nothing to be afraid of. i had too push him, but not too hard as he really wanted to do it.
the entire way, he needed my hand on his back or pulling him on his shoulder to help slow him down. he would drift to the side of the sidewalk when he got distracted by the peddles. i would say, "watch where your going buddy... keep it on the sidewalk."
it was like god was speaking directly to me... i'm sure you can see all the things that god was communicating to me right then and there.
they say that your image and perspective of god is most influenced by your own earthly father. for me it's been the other way around. i have learned so much more about the character of god as i try to be a good father to my boys. i love those little guys and through that i've been able to feel how much god loves me.
for those of you on the fence, fatherhood is far better than you could ever imagine.
milthaler
it's quite a jump from his little trike, and he's not as confident on it as he will be. i feel from time to time that the simple lessons that god teaches me from being a father are a little predictable and trite but, i will go ahead and share this one.
tonight we took a ride around the block, he was riding his bike and i was walking beside. we live in a subdivision that is a challenging for a three year old on a bike. it's hilly with little flat space. so, half the time he's working way too hard and the other half of the time he is freaking out because he is losing control on the way down the other side.
i can see him trying to be brave and strong as he works this new apparatus. half way through he was done and was emotionally and physically spent. he knew the majority of the ride home was down hill, and that freaked him out. i explained to him that i would be right by his side and that there was nothing to be afraid of. i had too push him, but not too hard as he really wanted to do it.
the entire way, he needed my hand on his back or pulling him on his shoulder to help slow him down. he would drift to the side of the sidewalk when he got distracted by the peddles. i would say, "watch where your going buddy... keep it on the sidewalk."
it was like god was speaking directly to me... i'm sure you can see all the things that god was communicating to me right then and there.
they say that your image and perspective of god is most influenced by your own earthly father. for me it's been the other way around. i have learned so much more about the character of god as i try to be a good father to my boys. i love those little guys and through that i've been able to feel how much god loves me.
for those of you on the fence, fatherhood is far better than you could ever imagine.
milthaler
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
applause...
i was watching the democratic convention last night and was surprised how some speakers just don't know how to react to applause. good speakers know when to keep going and when to pause. then there is the person who says their next line three times, not quite knowing when to start up again.
i learned a lot in my college speech class. because i speak to tens of thousands of students each week (ok, a few hundred) i find that this class was a great foundation to what i do every weekend. except, start your talk with a joke. oh, and tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them... that's junk. chances are your audience is more astute than that... even middle schoolers.
then again... i don't think i learned that much in my speech class. it's was my drama/acting class... now that's a scary thought.
milthaler
i learned a lot in my college speech class. because i speak to tens of thousands of students each week (ok, a few hundred) i find that this class was a great foundation to what i do every weekend. except, start your talk with a joke. oh, and tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them... that's junk. chances are your audience is more astute than that... even middle schoolers.
then again... i don't think i learned that much in my speech class. it's was my drama/acting class... now that's a scary thought.
milthaler
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
it looks like school is back in session...
man... things have been crazy around my house. there is no doubt in my mind that fall is more like the new year than january 1. daddy baby days are back, my wife goes to bed at 7:30, and work is crazy.
when i find something interesting and have the time i'll blog more.
milthaler
when i find something interesting and have the time i'll blog more.
milthaler
Friday, August 15, 2008
stolen gnome...
cut and paste:
"In an episode that re-creates a scene from the French film Amelie, Murphy was returned to Eve Stuart-Kelso with a letter saying he had taken off because he had "itchy feet".
In the 2001 film, starring Audrey Tautou, Amelie steals her father's gnome and gives it to a friend who takes it around the world and posts back pictures of it in famous places to show him what he is missing in life.
Besides Murphy was a Tesco carrier bag containing the album of 48 photos and stamped immigration permits to South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and Laos.
The album showed Murphy - who weighs a hefty 8lb (3.6kg) - abseiling down a mountain, standing in a shark's mouth, swimming in the sea, and riding a motorbike.
Murphy took to his travels with a companion only referred to as "The Bear" - although some of the photos picture a group of young men who might have been responsible.
The accompanying letter explained his disappearance: "There's more to life than watching daily commuter traffic and allowing passing cats to urinate on you."
Mrs Stuart-Kelvo, who once ran a motel in Florida with her husband, said it was "such a shock" to see Murphy returned to the front garden of her Gloucester home.
She said: "The leprechaun went missing many, many months ago and I had forgotten about it.
"Then I opened the door on Thursday and saw he was back. It was such a shock.
"I thought, 'Well, it's a bit of mischief but at least he hasn't been put through the window.'
"Murphy was quite badly damaged and there was a tightly wrapped parcel next to him. My curiosity eventually overcame my alarm, because I did wonder if it might explode.
"Then I saw it was a beautifully bound photo album and opened it up.
"His feet were missing, but that's no real surprise given that he was sent abseiling down a mountain!"
She added: "It was the strangest gift I have ever received. I just keep thinking how funny it is. It makes me smile to see all the people he met on his travels. It was a wonderful surprise."
Murphy's letter read: "Hello! First of all I feel I should explain my prolonged absence. A gnome's life is full of time for reflection, and whilst surveying your garden one summer morning, I began to get itchy feet.
"I came to the conclusion that the world is a big place and there is more to life than watching the daily commuter traffic, and allowing passing cats to urinate on you.
"So I decided to free myself from the doldrums of the Shire and seek adventure. My travels have taken me across three continents, 12 countries and more time zones than I can possibly remember.
"There have been high points, low points, and positively terrifying points. But I have survived - small thanks to the companion with whom I have shared all these moments."
The letter also revealed that Murphy - whom his captor called Barrington - met former England cricketer Geoffrey Boycott on his outbound trip to Cape Town.
"Said hello to the big man and he seemed a decent enough bloke but unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me," he wrote.
A spokesman for Gloucestershire Constabulary remained straight-faced about the matter, saying: "Any theft of a person's property, even if it is carried out as a joke, will be treated as a crime by police."
But Mrs Stuart-Kelso said she would be "delighted" to meet the culprit. "I thought the album was wonderful," she said."
see the pics here
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
disconnect...
today we had an extended all staff meeting as many senior staff members presented a new leadership "certification" that the vineyard will be rolling out slowly over the next year. my post is not directly connected to that meeting (as i think the program will be very good for the vineyard overall), but it did bring up a question that i think about from time to time when churches roll out new initiatives.
since we are absorbed in church life as staff members... do we have a disconnect with real people and what they will do or what they expect out of their church. i have a firm belief that the church at large tends to over schedule their people and we have a tendency to make things overly complex and non-intuitive. some of our best ideas really benefit the church from an organizational standpoint rather than the lives of people.
even the purpose driven baseball diamond model looks great on paper... but if you don't have the administrative disciple to carry out each activity with excellence things fizzle out and frustration ensues. i think our main problem is that we over estimate how excited the average member is about our latest program or doodle on a napkin. and... the true believers that will do whatever we throw out there can be pretty scary people.
i believe the single thing we overlook is the "added value" factor. what will the participate benefit from completing our initiatives? how does it affect their everyday life? does it benefit the person or does it benefit the church?
for instance, church membership. does the person grow from the assimilation process and then benefit in the long term from participation? or, is it simply about the church having a database of people who have check marks beside their name? that's a waste of time. if however it provides a solid foundation for participation and accountability... i'm all for it.
sometimes the church at large acts like an employer that can require actions from their employees. but, we work with volunteers that can't be threaten with performance plans or termination of employment. this is why i think working at a church is one of the most challenging careers out there.
here's some observations that i have made in launching new models of leadership and discipleship (mostly from mistakes).
*** think 'value add'. why would someone want to participate in this program? is there a felt need that you can connect with? you must inspire them and connect to a core need that they are in tune with. punch-lists and merit badges don't work.
*** timelines for commitments. how long do you expect a person to participate in this class or process. for instance we require a school year commitment from our small group leaders and coaches. they are not going to do this forever... even if we don't set a timeline. in the church, if you volunteer to teach sunday school... it shouldn't be a life sentence.
*** start small. early success is promotion that money and hype can't get you. if your first group of people benefit from what you offer they will tell people. also, a smaller group allows you the chance to tweak things mid-process... stay agile.
*** ask yourself, "would i want to participate in this if i wasn't getting paid to do so?" if the answer is no, you've got problems.
*** make your processes visual. can people see your direction without having it explained to them? for instance, can you visually draw out your process and it be intuitive? the same can be said about what you name your programs. does it communicate a vital message without explanation?
*** (for student pastors only.) don't solicit feedback from students. this may be counterintuitive to what i have already said... but hear me out. for the most part, students think EVERYTHING sucks. they see faults that don't really exist. they are emotional. so, if you catch them on a good day you'll get a bunch of fluff. if they are having a bad day... look out. instead, get feedback from parents or adult leaders. students need to be led.
*** avoid the label "mandatory". sure we need standards... but, if something is required... it usually sucks. think about all the mandatory meetings you need to go to this month... do you really want to attend any of them? instead of using your energy to make sure everyone RSVPs, invest it in making your event or training great. then they won't miss.
comments?
milthaler
since we are absorbed in church life as staff members... do we have a disconnect with real people and what they will do or what they expect out of their church. i have a firm belief that the church at large tends to over schedule their people and we have a tendency to make things overly complex and non-intuitive. some of our best ideas really benefit the church from an organizational standpoint rather than the lives of people.
even the purpose driven baseball diamond model looks great on paper... but if you don't have the administrative disciple to carry out each activity with excellence things fizzle out and frustration ensues. i think our main problem is that we over estimate how excited the average member is about our latest program or doodle on a napkin. and... the true believers that will do whatever we throw out there can be pretty scary people.
i believe the single thing we overlook is the "added value" factor. what will the participate benefit from completing our initiatives? how does it affect their everyday life? does it benefit the person or does it benefit the church?
for instance, church membership. does the person grow from the assimilation process and then benefit in the long term from participation? or, is it simply about the church having a database of people who have check marks beside their name? that's a waste of time. if however it provides a solid foundation for participation and accountability... i'm all for it.
sometimes the church at large acts like an employer that can require actions from their employees. but, we work with volunteers that can't be threaten with performance plans or termination of employment. this is why i think working at a church is one of the most challenging careers out there.
here's some observations that i have made in launching new models of leadership and discipleship (mostly from mistakes).
*** think 'value add'. why would someone want to participate in this program? is there a felt need that you can connect with? you must inspire them and connect to a core need that they are in tune with. punch-lists and merit badges don't work.
*** timelines for commitments. how long do you expect a person to participate in this class or process. for instance we require a school year commitment from our small group leaders and coaches. they are not going to do this forever... even if we don't set a timeline. in the church, if you volunteer to teach sunday school... it shouldn't be a life sentence.
*** start small. early success is promotion that money and hype can't get you. if your first group of people benefit from what you offer they will tell people. also, a smaller group allows you the chance to tweak things mid-process... stay agile.
*** ask yourself, "would i want to participate in this if i wasn't getting paid to do so?" if the answer is no, you've got problems.
*** make your processes visual. can people see your direction without having it explained to them? for instance, can you visually draw out your process and it be intuitive? the same can be said about what you name your programs. does it communicate a vital message without explanation?
*** (for student pastors only.) don't solicit feedback from students. this may be counterintuitive to what i have already said... but hear me out. for the most part, students think EVERYTHING sucks. they see faults that don't really exist. they are emotional. so, if you catch them on a good day you'll get a bunch of fluff. if they are having a bad day... look out. instead, get feedback from parents or adult leaders. students need to be led.
*** avoid the label "mandatory". sure we need standards... but, if something is required... it usually sucks. think about all the mandatory meetings you need to go to this month... do you really want to attend any of them? instead of using your energy to make sure everyone RSVPs, invest it in making your event or training great. then they won't miss.
comments?
milthaler
Saturday, August 9, 2008
hocking hills...
wow... we just got back from the best family vacation that we have ever been on. the beach is great, disney was cool, the rv... is the rv, but when it comes to beauty and relaxation... hocking hills was just what the doctor ordered.
thanks go out to scott and julie mcmiller for letting us use their cabin. they have been trying to get us out there for three years and finally we took them up on the offer. they have a BEAUTIFUL cabin!
after my famous "army breakfast" we hiked every morning, antiqued a few times and ate dinner together. hope and i connected out on the porch with needed conversation.
i can't say enough... it's wonderful there. check out the pictures... and yes the smiles are very real.
milthaler
thanks go out to scott and julie mcmiller for letting us use their cabin. they have been trying to get us out there for three years and finally we took them up on the offer. they have a BEAUTIFUL cabin!
after my famous "army breakfast" we hiked every morning, antiqued a few times and ate dinner together. hope and i connected out on the porch with needed conversation.
i can't say enough... it's wonderful there. check out the pictures... and yes the smiles are very real.
milthaler
Sunday, August 3, 2008
sixth graders...
we had our sixth grade upgrade on thursday night.
perhaps the coolest blessing AND curse of middle school ministry is that every year is different. it's always a unique flavor as our turnover is three years instead of four for high school or college ministry.
at the beginning of every year, we feel so immature. it's fun, but by the time you feel like the group is coming together and you're hitting on all cylinders... bam, the year is over and it starts all over again. i don't think high school ministry faces this at such a high level. in september, 40% of our group has experienced puberty and by the end of the year we're looking at 70%. that is a lot of turbulent water to navigate as a leader.
to people who are new to the middle school field, i always like to give the following advice... middle school ministry is way more like children's ministry than it's like high school ministry. most people in youth ministry like to take their high school events and then just dumb them down for middle school... you can't really do that. you'll be more successful if you try to smart up children's ministry events.
here are some major differences between high school / middle school:
little sleep is necessary at events / 8 hours is necessary if you want to accomplish anything the next day.
abstract teaching is the norm / concrete teaching is needed with all dots connected and then reconnected.
say, "do i like you" / say, "do you like me"
free time is needed / free time is the enemy
won't do the hokey pokey / i'll do it if the leader is
mt. dew / caffeine free mt. dew
there are more, but those were on the top of my mind.
milthaler
perhaps the coolest blessing AND curse of middle school ministry is that every year is different. it's always a unique flavor as our turnover is three years instead of four for high school or college ministry.
at the beginning of every year, we feel so immature. it's fun, but by the time you feel like the group is coming together and you're hitting on all cylinders... bam, the year is over and it starts all over again. i don't think high school ministry faces this at such a high level. in september, 40% of our group has experienced puberty and by the end of the year we're looking at 70%. that is a lot of turbulent water to navigate as a leader.
to people who are new to the middle school field, i always like to give the following advice... middle school ministry is way more like children's ministry than it's like high school ministry. most people in youth ministry like to take their high school events and then just dumb them down for middle school... you can't really do that. you'll be more successful if you try to smart up children's ministry events.
here are some major differences between high school / middle school:
little sleep is necessary at events / 8 hours is necessary if you want to accomplish anything the next day.
abstract teaching is the norm / concrete teaching is needed with all dots connected and then reconnected.
say, "do i like you" / say, "do you like me"
free time is needed / free time is the enemy
won't do the hokey pokey / i'll do it if the leader is
mt. dew / caffeine free mt. dew
there are more, but those were on the top of my mind.
milthaler
Saturday, August 2, 2008
vacation...
with speaking gigs and overnighters at the student union our life has been a little chaotic lately. we also didn't do a family vacation this summer since we are flying to florida in october for my cousins wedding. we thought it was a good idea, at least financially and since we have a two month old... but, with the summer coming to a close and life getting ready to start in full swing, i made an executive decision yesterday that we need to get away for at least a few days. it meant more rearranging than i thought... making what seemed to be an exhilarating decision laborious.
anywho... thanks to my good buddy scott mcmiller we are heading out on monday for three days in the woods. it's supposed to be a great place... although their parting words were, "be sure to bring some drinking water".
i'm looking forward to naps with the boys, coffee in an unscheduled morning and reading. man, i'm getting old!
milthaler
anywho... thanks to my good buddy scott mcmiller we are heading out on monday for three days in the woods. it's supposed to be a great place... although their parting words were, "be sure to bring some drinking water".
i'm looking forward to naps with the boys, coffee in an unscheduled morning and reading. man, i'm getting old!
milthaler
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
burial at sea...
it's a little hard for me to admit, but reagan is not the only cute kid in the world.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
gas guzzler for sale...
that's probably not the title i'll use for the paper, but i do have a 98 gmc envoy for sale. it's been a great "truck" but i just live too far from work to justify having such a gas hog. it needs some work a new thingie and dohickey will make it run like new. perhaps it's best feature is that the air conditioner freezes you out.
hope wants to sell it. i would rather barter for it.
if you have a really great bartering option i'm sure i could convince her.
milthaler
hope wants to sell it. i would rather barter for it.
if you have a really great bartering option i'm sure i could convince her.
milthaler
Monday, July 7, 2008
props to ted...
well today i got around to doing a task that has been on my "honey do" for over three years. at our last home we had brick pavers over the concrete pad in the back yard. when we made the move to springboro, i promised hope that i would put them down in the new digs.
almost like every project i do... everything was smooth until the end. the blades i bought to cut the pavers were two big for my circular saw. go figure. i usually have to go to home depot six or seven times during a home project... but, this time i thought i should check with my neighbors first.
a little background. i listen to willow creek's podcast as it's hard for me to get to "big church" each week. (i also listen to the vineyard podcast but for extra church credit, i listen to several podcasts.) they have put out the challenge to reach out to your neighbors.
ted is my neighbor crossed the street, simply put... he was willing to give me every tool in his workshop until i got it right. in his words he was just being neighborly. pretty sweet.
almost like every project i do... everything was smooth until the end. the blades i bought to cut the pavers were two big for my circular saw. go figure. i usually have to go to home depot six or seven times during a home project... but, this time i thought i should check with my neighbors first.
a little background. i listen to willow creek's podcast as it's hard for me to get to "big church" each week. (i also listen to the vineyard podcast but for extra church credit, i listen to several podcasts.) they have put out the challenge to reach out to your neighbors.
ted is my neighbor crossed the street, simply put... he was willing to give me every tool in his workshop until i got it right. in his words he was just being neighborly. pretty sweet.
Friday, July 4, 2008
on patriotism...
my grandfather, a WWII veteran, taught me the finer points of being patriotic. he bled red, white and blue. he always hung the flag outside his home, sang the anthem with vigor, always took off his hat and placed it over his heart for the pledge, and was very gentlemanly, yet confrontational when others didn't pay the same respect. he was a part of the "greatest generation", and he quietly knew it.
recently, i came to a bit of a startling realization. i think, my outward signs of nationalistic pride are more a tribute to my grandfather than a pride for my country. this post is less about you reading it and more about me having a chance to process my thoughts. how am i supposed to know what to think unless i blog about it?
i was not as peeved as others when michelle obama recently said, "for the first time in my adult lifetime i'm really proud of my country." it was a stupid thing for the wife of a presidential candidate to say, but from the perspective of an african-american woman i think i can see the position she was coming from. from purely a bipartisan perspective i'm proud that we finally have an black man as a major candidate for president. i think this is a good thing for america. i don't think this is a sign that we are a post-racial country. i know a woman who wanted more than anything to see hilary win the primary... and now, won't vote for obama simply because he is black. for goodness sake... they are nearly identical in their positions! that's not post-racial.
with general wesley clark's comments this week, the issue of a candidate's patriotism again became a campaign issue. does not wearing a flag pin disqualify you from being a viable candidate?
i think there is a double edged sword principle at play in my own head. if you aren't truly proud to be an american are you putting the correct interests at the forefront of your decision making process? could it be that too much national pride could actually cloud your judgment, making your prone to blind-spots?
would you want a yankees' fan as the general manager for your boston redsox? on the other hand, would it be a good decision to put the guy who sits in the dogpound, who paints his chest, who drinks a little two much on sundays make the decisions for the cleveland browns?
in leadership, emotions must always be an arm's length away.
so, with issues of patriotism here is where i stand:
am i proud of america? yes, i think it is the best governmental structure there is. however, i don't agree with all the policies and laws that govern our land. i think the constitution is brilliant but i don't view the "founding fathers" as particularly heroic (many were after all slave owners). i respect the president of the united states, but let's not even go there.
will i say the pledge? i don't know. i haven't been in a public forum in which the pledge has been recited since i can remember. as a follower of jesus, my only allegiance is to him. perhaps i'm a little too literal but, the words of the pledge bother me a little. having "one nation, under god" at the end doesn't absolve it in my mind.
will i sing the national anthem? i don't think the cincinnati reds are going to call me anytime soon to sing... better chance they would ask me to play center field. yes, i will sing. i have no problem with the national anthem as the lyrics speak to national pride and unlike the pledge, asks for no formal commitment.
would i swear on the bible? no. i would make a vow to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but, i don't think placing my hand on the bible raises the stakes any higher for me. the bible tells me to, i'll let my yes be yes, and my no, no (james 5:12). i think following jesus is a bit like always being under oath.
do i think the american flag should be displayed in church? no, unless it is one of many representing diversity. i think the flag has no place on the stage as it is displayed in many churches. the church is sovereign ground in my mind. god is not american, republican, democratic, male or female. i hate the saying, "god bless america". i think it is god's desire to bless everyone regardless of where they live or what nationality they are. i think it is egotistical to think that god's on our side because we are americans. it's like a beer league softball team praying that they will win before a game... a little self absorbed.
should there be an constitutional amendment to ban flag burning? no. the people who burn the flag are burning the very symbol of the freedom they have... to burn the flag. in my opinion it's free speech. i would never do it, and find it utterly disrespectful, but i couldn't in clear conscience ban it legislatively.
again, this post has been less for you and more for me. as you can see my thoughts are still a little in the formation process and i'm open to input and discussion. what do you think?
recently, i came to a bit of a startling realization. i think, my outward signs of nationalistic pride are more a tribute to my grandfather than a pride for my country. this post is less about you reading it and more about me having a chance to process my thoughts. how am i supposed to know what to think unless i blog about it?
i was not as peeved as others when michelle obama recently said, "for the first time in my adult lifetime i'm really proud of my country." it was a stupid thing for the wife of a presidential candidate to say, but from the perspective of an african-american woman i think i can see the position she was coming from. from purely a bipartisan perspective i'm proud that we finally have an black man as a major candidate for president. i think this is a good thing for america. i don't think this is a sign that we are a post-racial country. i know a woman who wanted more than anything to see hilary win the primary... and now, won't vote for obama simply because he is black. for goodness sake... they are nearly identical in their positions! that's not post-racial.
with general wesley clark's comments this week, the issue of a candidate's patriotism again became a campaign issue. does not wearing a flag pin disqualify you from being a viable candidate?
i think there is a double edged sword principle at play in my own head. if you aren't truly proud to be an american are you putting the correct interests at the forefront of your decision making process? could it be that too much national pride could actually cloud your judgment, making your prone to blind-spots?
would you want a yankees' fan as the general manager for your boston redsox? on the other hand, would it be a good decision to put the guy who sits in the dogpound, who paints his chest, who drinks a little two much on sundays make the decisions for the cleveland browns?
in leadership, emotions must always be an arm's length away.
so, with issues of patriotism here is where i stand:
am i proud of america? yes, i think it is the best governmental structure there is. however, i don't agree with all the policies and laws that govern our land. i think the constitution is brilliant but i don't view the "founding fathers" as particularly heroic (many were after all slave owners). i respect the president of the united states, but let's not even go there.
will i say the pledge? i don't know. i haven't been in a public forum in which the pledge has been recited since i can remember. as a follower of jesus, my only allegiance is to him. perhaps i'm a little too literal but, the words of the pledge bother me a little. having "one nation, under god" at the end doesn't absolve it in my mind.
will i sing the national anthem? i don't think the cincinnati reds are going to call me anytime soon to sing... better chance they would ask me to play center field. yes, i will sing. i have no problem with the national anthem as the lyrics speak to national pride and unlike the pledge, asks for no formal commitment.
would i swear on the bible? no. i would make a vow to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but, i don't think placing my hand on the bible raises the stakes any higher for me. the bible tells me to, i'll let my yes be yes, and my no, no (james 5:12). i think following jesus is a bit like always being under oath.
do i think the american flag should be displayed in church? no, unless it is one of many representing diversity. i think the flag has no place on the stage as it is displayed in many churches. the church is sovereign ground in my mind. god is not american, republican, democratic, male or female. i hate the saying, "god bless america". i think it is god's desire to bless everyone regardless of where they live or what nationality they are. i think it is egotistical to think that god's on our side because we are americans. it's like a beer league softball team praying that they will win before a game... a little self absorbed.
should there be an constitutional amendment to ban flag burning? no. the people who burn the flag are burning the very symbol of the freedom they have... to burn the flag. in my opinion it's free speech. i would never do it, and find it utterly disrespectful, but i couldn't in clear conscience ban it legislatively.
again, this post has been less for you and more for me. as you can see my thoughts are still a little in the formation process and i'm open to input and discussion. what do you think?
PS... after watching fireworks for the last two nights, i think they last too long. last year was the ultimate. all night it appeared as if the skies were going to open up at any point... five minutes into the show it started to thunder. someone made the correct executive decision and they proceeded to launch 25 minutes of fireworks in three minutes. THIS made me truly proud to be an american.
milthaler
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
happy anniversary...
eight years ago today i married the most wonderful woman in the world. tonight on on our date we talked about how much had changed through the years. cars, homes, jobs, children... almost everything is different. the toast i gave at our reception is still true... hope, you are the music i dance to!
milthaler
milthaler
Saturday, June 28, 2008
microsoft's comeback...
i made the switch from pc to mac in the winter of 2002. the switch was made primarily because after thousands of dollars, endless driver downloads, third party components and cold shutdowns in which i lost tons of work hours... something needed to happen.
up to that point, all i ever wanted to do on the computer was check email, surf the web and use word. now, i needed a little bit more and microsoft was unable to provide what i needed. i didn't make the switch because it was ubersexy... rather out of necessity. simply put, my new mac worked and let me edit video like i had been previously unable to do. i like to think it became hip only after i made the switch... the milthaler effect.
recently, alex bogusky took over major combat operations for microsoft in their war with mac. although, it's hard to call it a war since microsoft has been "handing it's lunch money over" without much of an argument for six years now.
i've been a bit of a fan of bogusky since he took big tobacco's settlement cash and used it to fund the ad campaign that brought in the bigger of the two guilty verdicts. the truth campaign (i think) was the final shot fired and finally swayed public opinion that cigarettes were evil and unhealthy (duh). he also has worked with vw, virgin and burger king. he's the reason the "king" has made such an unlikely comeback.
this is ironic... safari just quit on me. thank god for autosave.
good segue. over the last year or so i've started to recognize that my mac is not as stable as it used to be. you don't have to be a genius to see that much of apple's (no longer "apple computer") emphasis has shifted away from the mac to more truly mind blowing products... the ipod (which is only six years old! can you believe that?!?), iphone and the itunes store. it's not bad... but it is a change in priority. from a bottom line perspective, it's been very good to them.
microsoft has also had a focus problem. i think this all stems from the fact that bill gates simply got bored with the pc. with billions in the bank and great foundation on the front burner he had a decision to make. let's think about it... build a new computer vs. help solve the problems that plague the world... hmm? the official answer came this week when gates officially stepped down as the lead of microsoft.
so, enter bogusky. could it be that microsoft is prime to rise as the phoenix? we love underdogs.
my answer? i think that the worst apple product is still five years ahead of microsoft... so for the short term, i'll keep my macbook pro. but, who knows... my next computer may be a pc.
milthaler
up to that point, all i ever wanted to do on the computer was check email, surf the web and use word. now, i needed a little bit more and microsoft was unable to provide what i needed. i didn't make the switch because it was ubersexy... rather out of necessity. simply put, my new mac worked and let me edit video like i had been previously unable to do. i like to think it became hip only after i made the switch... the milthaler effect.
recently, alex bogusky took over major combat operations for microsoft in their war with mac. although, it's hard to call it a war since microsoft has been "handing it's lunch money over" without much of an argument for six years now.
i've been a bit of a fan of bogusky since he took big tobacco's settlement cash and used it to fund the ad campaign that brought in the bigger of the two guilty verdicts. the truth campaign (i think) was the final shot fired and finally swayed public opinion that cigarettes were evil and unhealthy (duh). he also has worked with vw, virgin and burger king. he's the reason the "king" has made such an unlikely comeback.
this is ironic... safari just quit on me. thank god for autosave.
good segue. over the last year or so i've started to recognize that my mac is not as stable as it used to be. you don't have to be a genius to see that much of apple's (no longer "apple computer") emphasis has shifted away from the mac to more truly mind blowing products... the ipod (which is only six years old! can you believe that?!?), iphone and the itunes store. it's not bad... but it is a change in priority. from a bottom line perspective, it's been very good to them.
microsoft has also had a focus problem. i think this all stems from the fact that bill gates simply got bored with the pc. with billions in the bank and great foundation on the front burner he had a decision to make. let's think about it... build a new computer vs. help solve the problems that plague the world... hmm? the official answer came this week when gates officially stepped down as the lead of microsoft.
so, enter bogusky. could it be that microsoft is prime to rise as the phoenix? we love underdogs.
my answer? i think that the worst apple product is still five years ahead of microsoft... so for the short term, i'll keep my macbook pro. but, who knows... my next computer may be a pc.
milthaler
Friday, June 27, 2008
it's under there...
it's been five days so i think it's safe(ish) to say that reagan has made the transition from diapers to big-boy underwear. i didn't realize that potty training would be so much more less convenient. tonight, we had to stop at a gas station so that he could tinkle. the thought did cross my mind that if he had a diaper on i would make such better time.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
passie
fussy baby.
no passie.
where is it?
fright.
searching.
crying baby.
confusion.
blame.
terror.
screaming baby.
curse words.
frantic searching.
negotiating with god.
we were loading up the car for a rare adventure outside the cabin. then, we couldn't find the passie. it's amazing how a 2 cent piece of plastic can cause such emotion. (hey, where did the cent "c" go, didn't that used to be on a keyboard? just another victim of $4 gas.)
"i thought you had it."
"i know i saw you with it five minutes ago."
"you are so irresponsible"
"my parents told me i should never marry you!"
the latter wasn't said, but i knew she was thinking it.
who ever said that adding the second was no big deal needs to be slapped. perhaps, i have forgotten the routine of having a baby... but, it sure does seem like it's way more complicated this time around.
i brought up the idea of adding another yesterday. she looked as me as if she were calculating if my rusted pliers were the correct instrument for an at home vasectomy.
now some people believe that using a passie is child abuse. we thought that when reagan was born. "why have him become addicted to something so unnatural." two days after we got home... we bought six of them. only one was up to his high taste in plastic placebo.
at last count we had roughly 27... but, harrison only takes one and it's the free one that he came home with from the hospital.
all that being said, parenthood is still one of god's precious gifts. it tests a marriage like nothing else. but, if you press through it together, there comes a bond like no other. i like to say that true love is ever expanding and your definition grows over time. when we got married, i truly loved hope and knew that she was the one god has sent to me. when we added reagan, i saw her become a mother and my depth and width of love for her grew. now we are four and i can't imagine life without her. not because i have become so familiar with her being around... but, because i am truly dependent on her affirmation, wisdom, focus, touch and love.
i guess you could say that she's my passie.
milthaler
no passie.
where is it?
fright.
searching.
crying baby.
confusion.
blame.
terror.
screaming baby.
curse words.
frantic searching.
negotiating with god.
we were loading up the car for a rare adventure outside the cabin. then, we couldn't find the passie. it's amazing how a 2 cent piece of plastic can cause such emotion. (hey, where did the cent "c" go, didn't that used to be on a keyboard? just another victim of $4 gas.)
"i thought you had it."
"i know i saw you with it five minutes ago."
"you are so irresponsible"
"my parents told me i should never marry you!"
the latter wasn't said, but i knew she was thinking it.
who ever said that adding the second was no big deal needs to be slapped. perhaps, i have forgotten the routine of having a baby... but, it sure does seem like it's way more complicated this time around.
i brought up the idea of adding another yesterday. she looked as me as if she were calculating if my rusted pliers were the correct instrument for an at home vasectomy.
now some people believe that using a passie is child abuse. we thought that when reagan was born. "why have him become addicted to something so unnatural." two days after we got home... we bought six of them. only one was up to his high taste in plastic placebo.
at last count we had roughly 27... but, harrison only takes one and it's the free one that he came home with from the hospital.
all that being said, parenthood is still one of god's precious gifts. it tests a marriage like nothing else. but, if you press through it together, there comes a bond like no other. i like to say that true love is ever expanding and your definition grows over time. when we got married, i truly loved hope and knew that she was the one god has sent to me. when we added reagan, i saw her become a mother and my depth and width of love for her grew. now we are four and i can't imagine life without her. not because i have become so familiar with her being around... but, because i am truly dependent on her affirmation, wisdom, focus, touch and love.
i guess you could say that she's my passie.
milthaler
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
a new car...
i wouldn't say that i'm green... i'm not pushing my mower like bshwise but i made a step in the right direction this past week when i purchased a more fuel efficient vehicle. not that i will be driving it. it's an unsaid rule in our house that hope gets to drive the nicer car. instead i will drive the passat turbo, a pretty sweet "greener" vehicle. even with the older car, i've more than doubled my fuel efficiency.
now to the task of getting rid of my old ride... a 2001 GMC envoy. any ideas? sell it? bless some one with it? although blessing someone with a fuel hog is a little weird.
back to the new ride... it's a sexy VW jetta wagon. i never thought of a wagon as sexy... but with two boys my perspective has changed a little. it has a wicked cool sun roof that goes from the windshield all the way to the back bumper... it's super sweet.
now, it is a 2009. i always said that i would never buy a new car. to be honest, i feel a little embarassed about driving such a new car. we were looking at used VWs and when this new car was a few thousand dollars more than our used options and had a super good warranty... we decided to take the plunge. plus, our plan is to keep it so that reagan can drive it to his senior prom and then off to college.
milthaler
now to the task of getting rid of my old ride... a 2001 GMC envoy. any ideas? sell it? bless some one with it? although blessing someone with a fuel hog is a little weird.
back to the new ride... it's a sexy VW jetta wagon. i never thought of a wagon as sexy... but with two boys my perspective has changed a little. it has a wicked cool sun roof that goes from the windshield all the way to the back bumper... it's super sweet.
now, it is a 2009. i always said that i would never buy a new car. to be honest, i feel a little embarassed about driving such a new car. we were looking at used VWs and when this new car was a few thousand dollars more than our used options and had a super good warranty... we decided to take the plunge. plus, our plan is to keep it so that reagan can drive it to his senior prom and then off to college.
milthaler
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
nail starter...
do you remember that show on saturday morning's where the kids run the racket? they run the cameras, they are the on air talent and they even invade the control room and play with all the fancy little buttons. some little future crack addict anchor energetically tells you that this is the show where kids are in charge.
i've often describe middle school volunteer opportunities like that. while it looks like kids are doing everything... adults for the most part have set the stage and made it possible for the show to actually get done and not end in a "take my ball and go home" incident.
yesterday while doing a service project with my small group... i felt that God was teaching me a similar lesson. i love my small group of seventh grade guys, but they are wimps. they really wanted to drive the nails into the wood of the house we were building. if bending nails was a high school sport... my middle school guys would have been moved up to the varsity team like a basketball prodigy.
then i had the idea... "hey guys, let me start the nails and then you all can go behind me and finish them up," i said. the rest of the time on the work site this is what i did. what a great metaphor for leading middle school kids. i didn't have the rush that comes from perfectly countersinking a nail into a fresh 2x4 but i did have the rush that comes when middle school kids are succeeding at their task.
overall, sos is going very well. there have been a ton of great God things going on and i hope to share more later this week.
milthaler
i've often describe middle school volunteer opportunities like that. while it looks like kids are doing everything... adults for the most part have set the stage and made it possible for the show to actually get done and not end in a "take my ball and go home" incident.
yesterday while doing a service project with my small group... i felt that God was teaching me a similar lesson. i love my small group of seventh grade guys, but they are wimps. they really wanted to drive the nails into the wood of the house we were building. if bending nails was a high school sport... my middle school guys would have been moved up to the varsity team like a basketball prodigy.
then i had the idea... "hey guys, let me start the nails and then you all can go behind me and finish them up," i said. the rest of the time on the work site this is what i did. what a great metaphor for leading middle school kids. i didn't have the rush that comes from perfectly countersinking a nail into a fresh 2x4 but i did have the rush that comes when middle school kids are succeeding at their task.
overall, sos is going very well. there have been a ton of great God things going on and i hope to share more later this week.
milthaler
Friday, June 13, 2008
i hate people who...
i simply hate to be around people who hate their job.
today i had to use the shuttle service of the body shop that was working on our VW. i could tell right away that the guy was in a bad mood when he pulled up to my house. he had just come from a house to pick someone up that wasn't there... and that set him off.
i had to hear about:
-how he hates to drive in the rain.
-how impossibly busy he's been.
-several expletives.
-loud classic rock on the radio (after several minutes of silence)
-how "no one has any idea what the shuttle guy goes through".
-how he's not a people person (really!?!).
every job has it's sucky moments and seasons. perhaps i've simply been lucky to work at places that i truly love and believe in... but give me a break. if you hate your job that much... quit! we spend more time at work than we do at home, in our car, on the golf course or anywhere else for that matter. i think it's worth the time to get the education or off your butt to apply and work for jobs that you can truly love.
for believers... we need to think of our jobs as more than just a way to earn a paycheck. give me any job and i'll show you a way that you can see it from a ministry perspective. even driving the shuttle van can be a ministry. think about it, you get people locked in a car at 55mph... you can either complain about your job OR you can be someone who shares hope and light. i would much rather be suck with the latter.
milthaler
today i had to use the shuttle service of the body shop that was working on our VW. i could tell right away that the guy was in a bad mood when he pulled up to my house. he had just come from a house to pick someone up that wasn't there... and that set him off.
i had to hear about:
-how he hates to drive in the rain.
-how impossibly busy he's been.
-several expletives.
-loud classic rock on the radio (after several minutes of silence)
-how "no one has any idea what the shuttle guy goes through".
-how he's not a people person (really!?!).
every job has it's sucky moments and seasons. perhaps i've simply been lucky to work at places that i truly love and believe in... but give me a break. if you hate your job that much... quit! we spend more time at work than we do at home, in our car, on the golf course or anywhere else for that matter. i think it's worth the time to get the education or off your butt to apply and work for jobs that you can truly love.
for believers... we need to think of our jobs as more than just a way to earn a paycheck. give me any job and i'll show you a way that you can see it from a ministry perspective. even driving the shuttle van can be a ministry. think about it, you get people locked in a car at 55mph... you can either complain about your job OR you can be someone who shares hope and light. i would much rather be suck with the latter.
milthaler
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
double win...
recently, i've been watching television when only infomercials are on. a few nights ago i caught a documentary on pbs (mostly because it was in HD at 3am) that was about a MIT sponsored high school robot building competition. the robots would go head to head trying to shift weight on a pendulum.
the finals pit two robots with similar designs against each other. with a little collaboration the two students positioned their robots so that the beam leveled out creating a tie... or as they called it a double win.
some people would rather open mouth kiss their sister than tie in a competition. i am one of these people. i love to win. but, the crowd cheered and the MIT professors thought it was the best thing since the 256 processor.
perhaps i am growing older and wiser but... i'm finding that i enjoy collaboration more gratifying than "lone ranger" wins. when i look back at the past year at work, the best times have been when everyone on our team brought their "A" game to a project and did what they each do well. and... the most frustrating portions of my past year have been when i try to get my way (or win) at the expense of someone else losing.
here are some questions that i have been thinking about since...
-do i put people in a position to do their best and use their expertise?
-do i secretly take pleasure in someone else failing?
-in a tense situation, is there a way to find the "win/win" scenario?
-am i wiling to share the success when it's due... or do i choose to stand alone on the gold metal stand?
i'm not willing to lose... but, perhaps there is something deep to thinking "double win".
milthaler
the finals pit two robots with similar designs against each other. with a little collaboration the two students positioned their robots so that the beam leveled out creating a tie... or as they called it a double win.
some people would rather open mouth kiss their sister than tie in a competition. i am one of these people. i love to win. but, the crowd cheered and the MIT professors thought it was the best thing since the 256 processor.
perhaps i am growing older and wiser but... i'm finding that i enjoy collaboration more gratifying than "lone ranger" wins. when i look back at the past year at work, the best times have been when everyone on our team brought their "A" game to a project and did what they each do well. and... the most frustrating portions of my past year have been when i try to get my way (or win) at the expense of someone else losing.
here are some questions that i have been thinking about since...
-do i put people in a position to do their best and use their expertise?
-do i secretly take pleasure in someone else failing?
-in a tense situation, is there a way to find the "win/win" scenario?
-am i wiling to share the success when it's due... or do i choose to stand alone on the gold metal stand?
i'm not willing to lose... but, perhaps there is something deep to thinking "double win".
milthaler
Sunday, June 8, 2008
a family of four...
today we headed for home. we now have kidS (plural), which means car seatS, mealS, diaperS, toyS... the LDS in texas are starting to look smart... wiveS. but hope is doing the work of three women and i'm chipping in too.
reagan is doing well with harrison. on the way home it was silent for about thirty seconds and then reagan said in his three year old voice, "harrison, i love you." hope and i both almost cried. he has been so sweet. he's asked several times when harrison will talk and wanted him to watch him in his pool in the backyard. he's going to be a great big brother.
harrison is doing great. he is eating like a wrestler that just weighed in and for the last two nights had a 5 hour stretch of sleep. we'll see what happens now that we are home.
milthaler
reagan is doing well with harrison. on the way home it was silent for about thirty seconds and then reagan said in his three year old voice, "harrison, i love you." hope and i both almost cried. he has been so sweet. he's asked several times when harrison will talk and wanted him to watch him in his pool in the backyard. he's going to be a great big brother.
harrison is doing great. he is eating like a wrestler that just weighed in and for the last two nights had a 5 hour stretch of sleep. we'll see what happens now that we are home.
milthaler
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
my hero...
normally she weighs in at a buck five and is afraid of spiders... but last night she went through a metamorphous that turned her into a person with super human strength. not to mention the mental toughness of a ninja. she amazes me!
last night everything went remarkably similar to reagan's birth. hope started having contractions on wednesday night and through thursday we worked around the house as they became more frequent and intense. about 8pm we headed to the hospital where she was at 1cm and 90%. we walked, stretched and got on the ball. an hour later she was at 3cm and making great progress. about an hour later she was given the magic bullet and was painless and got some sleep. after about 25 minutes of pushing harrison came into the world at 4:43am. he was healthy and beautiful.
so far he has been eating well, sleeping well and overall content.
reagan came to visit at 11am and was so happy to see his new baby brother. with a new doctor kit he checked everyone out... gave hugs and kisses and was ready to go back to mamaw's house for more play.
we're a family of four now. it's amazing to see them all together and we all feel so blessed.
here's to your birthday harrison!
feel free to call my cell to talk... if we're sleeping or busy we'll not pick up, but feel free to call!
miltahler
last night everything went remarkably similar to reagan's birth. hope started having contractions on wednesday night and through thursday we worked around the house as they became more frequent and intense. about 8pm we headed to the hospital where she was at 1cm and 90%. we walked, stretched and got on the ball. an hour later she was at 3cm and making great progress. about an hour later she was given the magic bullet and was painless and got some sleep. after about 25 minutes of pushing harrison came into the world at 4:43am. he was healthy and beautiful.
so far he has been eating well, sleeping well and overall content.
reagan came to visit at 11am and was so happy to see his new baby brother. with a new doctor kit he checked everyone out... gave hugs and kisses and was ready to go back to mamaw's house for more play.
we're a family of four now. it's amazing to see them all together and we all feel so blessed.
here's to your birthday harrison!
feel free to call my cell to talk... if we're sleeping or busy we'll not pick up, but feel free to call!
miltahler
Harrison Wayne Milthaler
he's here! this morning hope gave birth to harrison wayne milthaler. here are the details...
4:43am
19 inches
6lb 8oz
perfect
here is a video and i'll work to post some pics between naps!
UPDATE: here is a link to pictures
Thursday, June 5, 2008
contractions...
hope is turning into a superhero as we speak... AKA, she's having contractions.
things are freakishly like when reagan was born. at this pace we'll have a baby by morning.
milthaler
things are freakishly like when reagan was born. at this pace we'll have a baby by morning.
milthaler
Monday, June 2, 2008
hat in hand...
my apologies to joe... in an apparent oversight i missed the link. in an immediate act of contrition... please, let me buy you some jeans.
on the other hand... wise is starting to really tick me off. this weekend i saw him twice... and nothing. i even "broke bread" over at his house and he acted as if he had no idea what's going on. did he mention my blog? did he explain his actions? did he offer some sort of comprimise? nope, just pizza and cold beverages... i bet "linked friends" get steak. he must have talked to leah about this whole melodrama... she's acting weird towards me. it's all so condescending.
i guess i'm letterman and he's oprah.
milthaler
on the other hand... wise is starting to really tick me off. this weekend i saw him twice... and nothing. i even "broke bread" over at his house and he acted as if he had no idea what's going on. did he mention my blog? did he explain his actions? did he offer some sort of comprimise? nope, just pizza and cold beverages... i bet "linked friends" get steak. he must have talked to leah about this whole melodrama... she's acting weird towards me. it's all so condescending.
i guess i'm letterman and he's oprah.
milthaler
Friday, May 30, 2008
where's the love...
every now and then i like to kick brad wise's assets in golf. today, it was particularly easy. bshawise.blogspot.com came into blogging a little late. but, when it came to constructing his "cute" blog one link was missing... mine. so, this is a little test to see if the social networking of the "google machine" can truly make things happen.
here's what i want. i want to be added as a link to wise's blog... but, not only him. i won't rest until i get a little love from sean michael murphy (i know, a middle name in common usage. must be a serial killer... wouldn't surprise me), wise and joe boyd (man of the people).
you would thing that after riding together in an RV (recreational vehicle) for four days i would get a little linkage. (except for sean, he has a natural gas issue and "unable to attend").
so, here is to a little love.
milthaler
here's what i want. i want to be added as a link to wise's blog... but, not only him. i won't rest until i get a little love from sean michael murphy (i know, a middle name in common usage. must be a serial killer... wouldn't surprise me), wise and joe boyd (man of the people).
you would thing that after riding together in an RV (recreational vehicle) for four days i would get a little linkage. (except for sean, he has a natural gas issue and "unable to attend").
so, here is to a little love.
milthaler
reagan's first blog
reagan wanted to post his first blog... so here it goes...
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reagan
(he typed his name by himself too... seriously, he's smart.)
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reagan
(he typed his name by himself too... seriously, he's smart.)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
four stitches...
we had a very memorable memorial day. early in the afternoon we decided to go to ikea to get some new stuff for my new home office. we stopped by bw3 for some lunch when it happened... somehow (and believe me, we've tried to figure it out) reagan flipped his chair over and had a cut under his chin.
we went to the new atrium medical center to see an er doctor... and 3 hours later were told that the little guy had to get stitches.
thanks to rugby and other sports... not to mention the rusty nail incident i've had a couple in my day. but, it was absolutely horrible to have to hold him down while the doctor stitched him up. i thought for sure that he was no longer going to love me ever again. he cried like i have never heard a kid cry before. it was by far the most painful thing I'VE ever been through. when it was through he was a sweaty rag doll and just wanted to be held... by mommy, go figure.
i actually thought... maybe we should just keep the gash open... anything but this. truth is, an infected wound would be more painful in the long run. it was the hard thing... and it had to be done (insert the obvious life lesson here).
now for getting the bandaid off... maybe it will just fall off...
milthaler
Friday, May 23, 2008
MSSR... Student Feedback
During the MSSR retreat I gave students a chance to express to me the things they would want me to tell thier parents concerning the issue of sexuality. The feedback that I got was very intersting and as promised I'm putting together a two part blog about the issues they bring up. This is an effort for you to continue the conversations that were started at the MSSR and help you, as parents get a clearer picture of what middle school students are thinking.
In quotes below are some of the things students wrote:
"They don't think we know anything, but we really know too much."
"I would much rather hear good information from my parents about sex than the distorted information I get from my friends"
"I don't want to talk about sex withe them because it makes me feel weird (and uncomfortable)."
"Don't force communication, don't make me talk about it."
"I know WAY more than you realize."
"Communication is great, but not right after school, more towards bed time is better."
"Don't ask specifics. I will tell you what I want to. Don't ruin it. I am being vulnerable and open with you."
"We know a lot more than you think we do."
"You don't need to be careful when talking about sex, just be honest and open."
"I wish you would have told me about sex before my friend did."
"Don't treat me like a kid when you talk about it... talk like an adult."
I was totally suprised by the responses that this exercise generated. A big fact that comes up every year is the tension that students feel when It comes to talking to thier parents about sex.
Let's face it... it's uncomfortable for each party involved. But, we talk to our kids about the pressures to lie, steal and how to behave in general. We must also be willing to have conversations about sex so that they can understand our expectations for them.
Think about this... you can discipline your students for lying, stealing, cheating or most other misbehaviors. Most times we teach our kids what is acceptable by punishing unacceptable behaviors. If you are punishing your student for unacceptable sexual behaviors it's too late!
Middle school students are smarter than any other generation that came in front of them. They know more than ever before... and they know that they are smarter. Because of the internet they have access to more information than you and I had at thier age. But, just because they know information doesn't mean they know how to process it or put it in context.
In quotes below are some of the things students wrote:
"They don't think we know anything, but we really know too much."
"I would much rather hear good information from my parents about sex than the distorted information I get from my friends"
"I don't want to talk about sex withe them because it makes me feel weird (and uncomfortable)."
"Don't force communication, don't make me talk about it."
"I know WAY more than you realize."
"Communication is great, but not right after school, more towards bed time is better."
"Don't ask specifics. I will tell you what I want to. Don't ruin it. I am being vulnerable and open with you."
"We know a lot more than you think we do."
"You don't need to be careful when talking about sex, just be honest and open."
"I wish you would have told me about sex before my friend did."
"Don't treat me like a kid when you talk about it... talk like an adult."
I was totally suprised by the responses that this exercise generated. A big fact that comes up every year is the tension that students feel when It comes to talking to thier parents about sex.
Let's face it... it's uncomfortable for each party involved. But, we talk to our kids about the pressures to lie, steal and how to behave in general. We must also be willing to have conversations about sex so that they can understand our expectations for them.
Think about this... you can discipline your students for lying, stealing, cheating or most other misbehaviors. Most times we teach our kids what is acceptable by punishing unacceptable behaviors. If you are punishing your student for unacceptable sexual behaviors it's too late!
Middle school students are smarter than any other generation that came in front of them. They know more than ever before... and they know that they are smarter. Because of the internet they have access to more information than you and I had at thier age. But, just because they know information doesn't mean they know how to process it or put it in context.
From my experience students respond far better to conversations about sex when I talk to them in an adult way. This doesn't mean that I am crude in the terms I use or assume that they already know everything. But rather, with an attitude that understands that they already have opinions about sex. You may find much more success in communicating with your child about sex if you approach it from a conversational perspective and not a lecture.
Many times this conversation can be helped by asking questions that take a third person perspective instead of a first person perspective. For instance, what do your friends think of a particular issue? What seems to be the overall opinion at your school? Do you tend to agree or disagree with your friends about this particular issue?
The "sex talk" is not just a one time thing. What is appropriate to tell a fifth grader is very different than the conversation that happens with an eighth grader. As your student matures they will need to get more and different questions answered.
Let's get the conversation going... feel free to comment on this posting and I'll keep checking back to see what you say. Also, helpful and practical suggestions for getting conversations going with your kids are welcome.
milthaler
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