veep...

i, for one, think that john mccain made a brilliant choice in tina fey as his running mate.

milthaler

new bike...

reagan has put his poopie in the proper place for three weeks now, and has earned his first bicycle. i still can't believe that baby we brought home from the hospital is riding a big-boy-bike, but it's true.

it's quite a jump from his little trike, and he's not as confident on it as he will be. i feel from time to time that the simple lessons that god teaches me from being a father are a little predictable and trite but, i will go ahead and share this one.

tonight we took a ride around the block, he was riding his bike and i was walking beside. we live in a subdivision that is a challenging for a three year old on a bike. it's hilly with little flat space. so, half the time he's working way too hard and the other half of the time he is freaking out because he is losing control on the way down the other side.

i can see him trying to be brave and strong as he works this new apparatus. half way through he was done and was emotionally and physically spent. he knew the majority of the ride home was down hill, and that freaked him out. i explained to him that i would be right by his side and that there was nothing to be afraid of. i had too push him, but not too hard as he really wanted to do it.

the entire way, he needed my hand on his back or pulling him on his shoulder to help slow him down. he would drift to the side of the sidewalk when he got distracted by the peddles. i would say, "watch where your going buddy... keep it on the sidewalk."

it was like god was speaking directly to me... i'm sure you can see all the things that god was communicating to me right then and there.

they say that your image and perspective of god is most influenced by your own earthly father. for me it's been the other way around. i have learned so much more about the character of god as i try to be a good father to my boys. i love those little guys and through that i've been able to feel how much god loves me.

for those of you on the fence, fatherhood is far better than you could ever imagine.

milthaler

applause...

i was watching the democratic convention last night and was surprised how some speakers just don't know how to react to applause. good speakers know when to keep going and when to pause. then there is the person who says their next line three times, not quite knowing when to start up again.

i learned a lot in my college speech class. because i speak to tens of thousands of students each week (ok, a few hundred) i find that this class was a great foundation to what i do every weekend. except, start your talk with a joke. oh, and tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them... that's junk. chances are your audience is more astute than that... even middle schoolers.

then again... i don't think i learned that much in my speech class. it's was my drama/acting class... now that's a scary thought.

milthaler

it looks like school is back in session...

man... things have been crazy around my house. there is no doubt in my mind that fall is more like the new year than january 1. daddy baby days are back, my wife goes to bed at 7:30, and work is crazy.

when i find something interesting and have the time i'll blog more.

milthaler

stolen gnome...

cut and paste:

"In an episode that re-creates a scene from the French film Amelie, Murphy was returned to Eve Stuart-Kelso with a letter saying he had taken off because he had "itchy feet".

In the 2001 film, starring Audrey Tautou, Amelie steals her father's gnome and gives it to a friend who takes it around the world and posts back pictures of it in famous places to show him what he is missing in life.

Besides Murphy was a Tesco carrier bag containing the album of 48 photos and stamped immigration permits to South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and Laos.

The album showed Murphy - who weighs a hefty 8lb (3.6kg) - abseiling down a mountain, standing in a shark's mouth, swimming in the sea, and riding a motorbike.

Murphy took to his travels with a companion only referred to as "The Bear" - although some of the photos picture a group of young men who might have been responsible.

The accompanying letter explained his disappearance: "There's more to life than watching daily commuter traffic and allowing passing cats to urinate on you."

Mrs Stuart-Kelvo, who once ran a motel in Florida with her husband, said it was "such a shock" to see Murphy returned to the front garden of her Gloucester home.

She said: "The leprechaun went missing many, many months ago and I had forgotten about it.

"Then I opened the door on Thursday and saw he was back. It was such a shock.

"I thought, 'Well, it's a bit of mischief but at least he hasn't been put through the window.'

"Murphy was quite badly damaged and there was a tightly wrapped parcel next to him. My curiosity eventually overcame my alarm, because I did wonder if it might explode.

"Then I saw it was a beautifully bound photo album and opened it up.

"His feet were missing, but that's no real surprise given that he was sent abseiling down a mountain!"

She added: "It was the strangest gift I have ever received. I just keep thinking how funny it is. It makes me smile to see all the people he met on his travels. It was a wonderful surprise."

Murphy's letter read: "Hello! First of all I feel I should explain my prolonged absence. A gnome's life is full of time for reflection, and whilst surveying your garden one summer morning, I began to get itchy feet.

"I came to the conclusion that the world is a big place and there is more to life than watching the daily commuter traffic, and allowing passing cats to urinate on you.

"So I decided to free myself from the doldrums of the Shire and seek adventure. My travels have taken me across three continents, 12 countries and more time zones than I can possibly remember.

"There have been high points, low points, and positively terrifying points. But I have survived - small thanks to the companion with whom I have shared all these moments."

The letter also revealed that Murphy - whom his captor called Barrington - met former England cricketer Geoffrey Boycott on his outbound trip to Cape Town.

"Said hello to the big man and he seemed a decent enough bloke but unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me," he wrote.

A spokesman for Gloucestershire Constabulary remained straight-faced about the matter, saying: "Any theft of a person's property, even if it is carried out as a joke, will be treated as a crime by police."

But Mrs Stuart-Kelso said she would be "delighted" to meet the culprit. "I thought the album was wonderful," she said."

see the pics here

disconnect...

today we had an extended all staff meeting as many senior staff members presented a new leadership "certification" that the vineyard will be rolling out slowly over the next year. my post is not directly connected to that meeting (as i think the program will be very good for the vineyard overall), but it did bring up a question that i think about from time to time when churches roll out new initiatives.

since we are absorbed in church life as staff members... do we have a disconnect with real people and what they will do or what they expect out of their church. i have a firm belief that the church at large tends to over schedule their people and we have a tendency to make things overly complex and non-intuitive. some of our best ideas really benefit the church from an organizational standpoint rather than the lives of people.

even the purpose driven baseball diamond model looks great on paper... but if you don't have the administrative disciple to carry out each activity with excellence things fizzle out and frustration ensues. i think our main problem is that we over estimate how excited the average member is about our latest program or doodle on a napkin. and... the true believers that will do whatever we throw out there can be pretty scary people.

i believe the single thing we overlook is the "added value" factor. what will the participate benefit from completing our initiatives? how does it affect their everyday life? does it benefit the person or does it benefit the church?

for instance, church membership. does the person grow from the assimilation process and then benefit in the long term from participation? or, is it simply about the church having a database of people who have check marks beside their name? that's a waste of time. if however it provides a solid foundation for participation and accountability... i'm all for it.

sometimes the church at large acts like an employer that can require actions from their employees. but, we work with volunteers that can't be threaten with performance plans or termination of employment. this is why i think working at a church is one of the most challenging careers out there.

here's some observations that i have made in launching new models of leadership and discipleship (mostly from mistakes).

*** think 'value add'. why would someone want to participate in this program? is there a felt need that you can connect with? you must inspire them and connect to a core need that they are in tune with. punch-lists and merit badges don't work.

*** timelines for commitments. how long do you expect a person to participate in this class or process. for instance we require a school year commitment from our small group leaders and coaches. they are not going to do this forever... even if we don't set a timeline. in the church, if you volunteer to teach sunday school... it shouldn't be a life sentence.

*** start small. early success is promotion that money and hype can't get you. if your first group of people benefit from what you offer they will tell people. also, a smaller group allows you the chance to tweak things mid-process... stay agile.

*** ask yourself, "would i want to participate in this if i wasn't getting paid to do so?" if the answer is no, you've got problems.

*** make your processes visual. can people see your direction without having it explained to them? for instance, can you visually draw out your process and it be intuitive? the same can be said about what you name your programs. does it communicate a vital message without explanation?

*** (for student pastors only.) don't solicit feedback from students. this may be counterintuitive to what i have already said... but hear me out. for the most part, students think EVERYTHING sucks. they see faults that don't really exist. they are emotional. so, if you catch them on a good day you'll get a bunch of fluff. if they are having a bad day... look out. instead, get feedback from parents or adult leaders. students need to be led.

*** avoid the label "mandatory". sure we need standards... but, if something is required... it usually sucks. think about all the mandatory meetings you need to go to this month... do you really want to attend any of them? instead of using your energy to make sure everyone RSVPs, invest it in making your event or training great. then they won't miss.

comments?

milthaler

hocking hills...

wow... we just got back from the best family vacation that we have ever been on. the beach is great, disney was cool, the rv... is the rv, but when it comes to beauty and relaxation... hocking hills was just what the doctor ordered.

thanks go out to scott and julie mcmiller for letting us use their cabin. they have been trying to get us out there for three years and finally we took them up on the offer. they have a BEAUTIFUL cabin!

after my famous "army breakfast" we hiked every morning, antiqued a few times and ate dinner together. hope and i connected out on the porch with needed conversation.

i can't say enough... it's wonderful there. check out the pictures... and yes the smiles are very real.

milthaler

sixth graders...

we had our sixth grade upgrade on thursday night.

perhaps the coolest blessing AND curse of middle school ministry is that every year is different. it's always a unique flavor as our turnover is three years instead of four for high school or college ministry.

at the beginning of every year, we feel so immature. it's fun, but by the time you feel like the group is coming together and you're hitting on all cylinders... bam, the year is over and it starts all over again. i don't think high school ministry faces this at such a high level. in september, 40% of our group has experienced puberty and by the end of the year we're looking at 70%. that is a lot of turbulent water to navigate as a leader.

to people who are new to the middle school field, i always like to give the following advice... middle school ministry is way more like children's ministry than it's like high school ministry. most people in youth ministry like to take their high school events and then just dumb them down for middle school... you can't really do that. you'll be more successful if you try to smart up children's ministry events.

here are some major differences between high school / middle school:

little sleep is necessary at events / 8 hours is necessary if you want to accomplish anything the next day.

abstract teaching is the norm / concrete teaching is needed with all dots connected and then reconnected.

say, "do i like you" / say, "do you like me"

free time is needed / free time is the enemy

won't do the hokey pokey / i'll do it if the leader is

mt. dew / caffeine free mt. dew

there are more, but those were on the top of my mind.

milthaler

vacation...

with speaking gigs and overnighters at the student union our life has been a little chaotic lately. we also didn't do a family vacation this summer since we are flying to florida in october for my cousins wedding. we thought it was a good idea, at least financially and since we have a two month old... but, with the summer coming to a close and life getting ready to start in full swing, i made an executive decision yesterday that we need to get away for at least a few days. it meant more rearranging than i thought... making what seemed to be an exhilarating decision laborious.

anywho... thanks to my good buddy scott mcmiller we are heading out on monday for three days in the woods. it's supposed to be a great place... although their parting words were, "be sure to bring some drinking water".

i'm looking forward to naps with the boys, coffee in an unscheduled morning and reading. man, i'm getting old!

milthaler