Thursday, June 26, 2008


fussy baby.
no passie.
where is it?
crying baby.
screaming baby.
curse words.
frantic searching.
negotiating with god.

we were loading up the car for a rare adventure outside the cabin. then, we couldn't find the passie. it's amazing how a 2 cent piece of plastic can cause such emotion. (hey, where did the cent "c" go, didn't that used to be on a keyboard? just another victim of $4 gas.)

"i thought you had it."
"i know i saw you with it five minutes ago."
"you are so irresponsible"
"my parents told me i should never marry you!"

the latter wasn't said, but i knew she was thinking it.

who ever said that adding the second was no big deal needs to be slapped. perhaps, i have forgotten the routine of having a baby... but, it sure does seem like it's way more complicated this time around.

i brought up the idea of adding another yesterday. she looked as me as if she were calculating if my rusted pliers were the correct instrument for an at home vasectomy.

now some people believe that using a passie is child abuse. we thought that when reagan was born. "why have him become addicted to something so unnatural." two days after we got home... we bought six of them. only one was up to his high taste in plastic placebo.

at last count we had roughly 27... but, harrison only takes one and it's the free one that he came home with from the hospital.

all that being said, parenthood is still one of god's precious gifts. it tests a marriage like nothing else. but, if you press through it together, there comes a bond like no other. i like to say that true love is ever expanding and your definition grows over time. when we got married, i truly loved hope and knew that she was the one god has sent to me. when we added reagan, i saw her become a mother and my depth and width of love for her grew. now we are four and i can't imagine life without her. not because i have become so familiar with her being around... but, because i am truly dependent on her affirmation, wisdom, focus, touch and love.

i guess you could say that she's my passie.



Faith Walker said...

You can find one of those big blue passies at Babies R Us (not sure but think that Target carries them too). I haven't seen them sold anywhere else. They are pricey though, like 6 dollars for one I think. I happend to work in Labor and Delivery and we don't give those ones out very often.
Hope that maybe it helps over fights over the passie. Know the feeling of not being able to leave the house with out one.

Anonymous said...

we lost it again tonight. 7 months later it's not any less frightening. thanks for trying faith but unfortunately he HAS to have the one he got in the hospital. the store bought ones are not pliable like the green ones. and yes, reagan got one too. and yes, we managed to lose it.